


Speechless

by notjustmom



Series: Doodahs and Whatnots [16]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: But for Mycroft, Episode: s04e02 The Lying Detective, M/M, Regrets, Spoilers, saying goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:45:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9308015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: some of John's inner dialogue, perhaps?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scrub456](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrub456/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Entitled](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9307352) by [scrub456](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrub456/pseuds/scrub456). 



John stood at Sherlock's feet, trying to find a way to simply walk away from the man who laid too perfectly still in front of him. 

"Ah, saying hello then?"

"No. Saying good-bye." Trying to. Never could, no matter what you did, I could never say the words...you always left before I got the chance.

"I'm sure he'll pull through, he's made a mess of himself, but he's so strong..."

He looks so...  
What? Defeated? Fragile? Broken...and I did it to him. God.

"Maybe he looks just a bit human, John? In need of his friend? Of compassion?" Mary sat at Sherlock's side, in the chair where he would've, should've been sitting, if he hadn't been the one who had put him in that bed in the first place.

He - he. Oh, God, I told him he killed you. His eyes, Mary, I've never seen him so destroyed. I did that. My best friend. My only friend, really. I never told him that. He thought I had loads of friends, all those people at the wedding, none of them know me, hell, you didn't even know me like he does, like he did...and still he wanted me at his side.

"Here, a parting gift..." He laid the cane against the chair so Sherlock would know he had been there, and was thinking of him.

"Oh, that's nice, a walking stick..."

"Used to be mine, a long time ago."

If I were the man you thought I was Sherlock, I'd sit with you and hold your hand and wait until you were awake, so I could look into your bruised face, beg your forgiveness and say a proper goodbye. But, I'm not that man, never have been. I'm a coward. I used to think I was a decent man, a good man. But I'm not. I was learning, you and Mary, somehow, the two of you were trying, trying to show me the man I could've been... the man I wanted to be, but it's too late now. 

He nodded and walked away from the bed and was almost -

"Dr. Watson? It's for you."

Damn. So close.

"Mycroft."


End file.
